Affinia? More like affinity, as in the massive amount of affinity we have for this hotel.

See, Affinia is the kind of hotel you go to when, or more accurately if, you get to heaven. It's bathed in the most beautiful glow of pious, spotless white you'll see in this life—from the hotel lobby to the elevators to the hallways high above the ground floor to, most importantly, each and every room in the whole gosh-dang-darned building—like puffy, white clouds backlit by the rising sun…at dawn.

Which isn't to say that the hotel Affinia is colorless to the point of banality or anything. The design isn't void, nor is it nonexistent; it's artistic in a retro kind of way, reminiscent of the classiest, coolest, sleekest and most stylish parts of the 1960s and ‘70s. Remember watching James Bond movies and thinking, "Golly, can't I be him for just one day?" Well, here's your chance. No, you won't fight henchman and mad geniuses or score women the way that he would, but use your imagination and it's pretty much the same. Sort of.

But best of all are the amenities, no doubt. There's the custom-designed Affinia bed, as soft, comforting and accommodating as a heavenly cloud-bed should be; the signature welcome drink that anxiously awaits your impending arrival; the spa services that include four different types of massage, two different types of facial treatment and two different types of feet (uck) treatment; and, most importantly, the six-choice pillow menu that includes a buckwheat pillow for the over-stressed, a down pillow for bird lovers, the hypo-allergenic pillow for hypochondriacs, the magnetic therapy pillow for people who've ruined themselves with chiropractors, the sound pillow for music lovers and the Swedish memory pillow for…uh, foam lovers.

Then, if you're looking for food, try the in-house C-House Restaurant, currently serving breakfast from 6 a.m.-10 a.m., or Gino's East just, err, west of the hotel.

But you don't have to love good pillows or food to love the Affinia—you just have to love good hotels. Come on in and stay a while. After all, it might be the closest you ever get to heaven; in this life, anyway.

Centerstage Reviewer: Benjamin Andrew Moore