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I Just Met a Great Guy
Wednesday Apr 26, 2006.
By econfidant
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I just met a great guy who just broke up with his girlfriend. We like each other, but I'm ready for a long-term relationship and I'm worried I'll be the rebound girl. Should I be worried or does the rebound work out sometimes? It is fantastic that you met a great guy, but I can understand your concerns about a possible rebound romance ruining the potential for something that lasts longer. There is no absolute answer on rebound potential, but if you find that you two start spending time together, communication will be the key to making sure that you are on the same page. People move on from relationships in their own time, and what is a reasonable timeframe for one person may be much longer or shorter for another. Use his words and actions as a guide to what he is thinking and feeling. It is not always easy, but if this guy still has strong feelings for his ex-girlfriend or if there is any possibility of reconciliation, you should be able to tell by things he says and the way he acts toward you. Is he interested in more than just a physical relationship with you? Does he introduce you to his friends? Looking for clues in things he says will let you know that he is interested in being with you- and not just interested in avoiding being alone. If it turns out that he is still recovering from the break up or is not totally available, you'll have to decide if you are willing to wait it out when you clearly feel ready for a longer relationship right now. Consider that if he is not ready for the type of relationship you desire, there may be other guys out there that are in the same place as you. Worrying too much about the potential baggage your new guy brings will take the focus of the important issue of figuring out whether you are right for each other, right now. As hard as it is, try to take things slowly. Enjoy getting to know each other better, and let yourself decide if he is someone you can see yourself dating long term. If it becomes clear that his interests are different than yours, feel good knowing that you gave it a chance, and then move on to someone who is looking to meet someone as thoughtful as you.
Best wishes, Have a question about your one-true-love or latest fling that you just can't share with your friends? Rachel Begelman and Sarna Lee founded econfidant.com to give you the smart, one-on-one advice you need. You can ask that single pressing question or sign up to ask unlimited questions. Read more about econfidant. Have a question for econfidant.com? Ask it here...they'll answer one question from a Centerstage reader each week.
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