photo: courtesy of Nick's
In the hectic world of bar-hopping, there are two guides I rely upon to help select an appropriate haunt: the tamale guy and the cigarette girl. Whenever I see the guy with the familiar red cooler offering his cheesy concoctions to whomever looks drunk enough (usually my roommate), I know I'm in the right spot. Any place that allows him in is not also likely to care about a dress code or involve any sort of techno music.
Then there's the attractive girl who offers free packs of cigarettes in exchange for a snapshot of your license, presumably so your admitted addiction can be used against you in future civil action suits. I see her and her newfangled retina-scanner, I run. Based on past experience, her presence means I'm in a place where marketing matters as much as atmosphere, and where I'm as likely to get a drink spilled on me as I am to actually maneuver my way through the boisterous crowd to order one for myself.
My theory was put to the test last weekend at Nick's Beer Garden, where in a two-hour span I was offered both dubiously fresh Mexican fare and a free pack of cigs. It's fitting, really; on Saturday nights, the place is home to a diverse clientele that's out for both booze and blues. The evening's performers, on this particular night it was a band known as the Big Sweaty Men, crack jokes ("We'd like to do this next song in tribute to an old, dead black man," announced one singer) and do their best Stevie Wonder impressions. Meanwhile thirtysomething couples, young professionals and lip-synching loners crowd the tables in front and enclosed beer garden in back. It's not uncommon for a woman to have to fend off the advances of both a man in his 20s and one in his 40s in the span of a single song.
A cheerful pineapple still adorns the t-shirts for sale behind the bar, but Nick's Caribbean theme has pretty much fallen by the wayside, save for the tiger-striped surfboard tacked up in the front corner. You can still gawk at Peaches, the bullet-riddled nude painting that remains the sole decoration on the bar's southern wall, but mostly the inside is pretty nondescript. It's dive-y, but it's the kind of dive where you could take your parents on the right night, as long as they don't mind smoke and as long as the Big Sweaty Men are playing.
Word has it these guys are available for weddings, and it makes perfect sense. The group, which has been around since 1991, focuses on maintaining a fun attitude throughout its three sets, playing classic blues and R&B hits and deeper cuts that get the feet tapping. The lead singers (who probably were the main inspiration for the band's name) can really belt it out, and they're equally at ease with smooth, slow songs as clapping crowd-pleasers. The musicians behind them know how to maintain the groove and don't disappoint when the singers take a break to chat with friends. Everyone in the band seems to know someone at Nick's; it's the kind of place where regulars are a given, and a conversation between the performers and the patrons is expected. While the cigarette girl gets plenty of business, she's not the harbinger of doom I might've imagined.
But that relaxed atmosphere means you're also not as invisible as you might like to be. A word of advice: If you're easily swayed in your decisions, don't wait for the end of a song to make for the exit. If the Men aren't busy crooning into the microphone, they'll have their way with you as you head out the door. As it begins to get colder, and the music heats up, you might just decide to stay until closing time, or at least until you've finished that last tamale and cigarette.
Nick's Beer Garden, 1516 N. Milwaukee Avenue, hosts free live music every Saturday night starting at 10 p.m.